Okay, so you’re getting married – yay! But now what?
If you’re anything like most couples, the moment you start planning, the questions come thick and fast. As someone who worked in wedding venues, my first questions are usually:

• How many guests are you expecting?
• Where would you like the ceremony?
• What’s your budget?
• What style of wedding do you imagine?

Before you even start visiting venues, it helps to have those answers. They act like signposts, guiding you toward the right path.

A Little Story From Me

Years ago, before I’d even kissed a boy (let alone thought of marrying one!), I was walking with my sister on the South Downs and came across a tiny woodland church. It was quiet, hidden, magical. I knew — that’s where I wanted to get married one day.

Fast forward twenty-something years, I got engaged and that little church popped straight into my mind. But when I spoke to the team there, I realised it only held 30 guests. My immediate family alone would fill that.

And just like that, my vision vanished.

But that’s where values come in.
While I treasured the memory of the church, I valued being surrounded by more people — friends and family who had been part of our story.

So I looked elsewhere. A nearby church close to my parents’ house had space for everyone. It wasn’t love at first sight, and the transport and accommodation options were tricky. I realised I’d be compromising the kind of day I truly wanted just to fit in distant cousins I barely knew.

That led us to option three: a London venue near where we lived. It could host 75 for the ceremony and reception, plus evening guests. It felt like a good balance — not everything we originally imagined, but the people who really mattered could be there.

Because I had these three options laid out, it made it easier to sit down with my fiancé and talk through them.

Planning Your Day With Intention

This experience taught me that wedding planning isn’t just about logistics — it’s about values. What do you really want from your day? What matters most to you both?

Here are some good questions to start with together:

• How do you want to feel on your wedding day?
• Who do you want by your side to celebrate with you?
• What are you comfortable spending?
• Are there any elements you’ve always envisioned?
• What would you be willing to compromise on if needed?

Having these conversations early will shape your decisions with clarity and confidence — and save you falling in love with a venue that simply won’t work.

Working out how much you have for your wedding budget.

I always thought I’d be the kind of bride who knew exactly what she wanted—and stuck to it. I’d had a picture of the dress on my phone for years: a cute, 1950s-style, knee-length number. So when I found a shop that actually stocked it, I booked in straight away.

But before that appointment, my mum suggested we pop into a bridal shop on her local high street. Three of my friends had found their dresses there—but I was convinced it wasn’t for me. They didn’t even stock short dresses, and I was just going along to humour her.

Then, somewhere between dress three and four, it happened. That moment everyone talks about. The mirror moment. The goosebumps. I just knew: this was my dress.

I was floating on a cloud as we left the shop, promising to call Monday and confirm. That’s when the owner casually mentioned the price… and it was £800 over my budget.

I suddenly remembered all those years ago when starting to work in the wedding industry, being taught to “sell the dream first—talk money later” a concept I had always struggled to understand. And here I was—dream sold, budget blown.

So if I can give you one friendly heads-up: get really clear on your budget before you start booking appointments. It’s so easy to get caught up in the magic of it all (because it is magical!)—but that magic doesn’t have to come with a surprise price tag.

Let’s Talk Guest Lists (And Why They Can Feel So Hard)

The guest list.
Two little words that bring a lot of drama.

I’ve heard it all over the years — fallouts between families, childhood friendships that never recover, parents threatening to pull funding… it’s no wonder this part of wedding planning causes so much friction.

These days, with weddings often costing hundreds per guest, your guest list doesn’t just affect your budget — it affects your time and energy on the day too. The more guests you have, the less time you have to really be with each of them.

So how do you go about creating a guest list that feels good for you and your partner?

Start With Everyone

Yes, really.

Sit down together and write down every single person who could be invited — whether you’d love to see them there or not. Family, friends, colleagues, childhood pals, distant relatives — put them all on the page.

Then get your highlighters out.

• Use one colour to mark your A-list: the people you couldn’t imagine getting married without. These are your non-negotiables. You might even want to check your date with them before finalising anything.
• Use another colour for your B-list: people you’d really like to have there and would be a bit sad to miss — but you’d be okay if numbers or budget didn’t allow.
• The rest? That’s your C-list. Lovely people, but not essential for the day you’re creating.

Add up your A and B list guests — that’s your core guest count, and it gives you a good guide for what size venue you’ll need. If you have room, or if some guests decline, you can always invite more from your C-list later.

A Little Real Talk

Three years on from our wedding, there are a few people we didn’t invite — old friends or distant relatives — and yes, some of them stopped speaking to us. It stings a bit. But we also realised… we hadn’t seen some of them in years, and probably wouldn’t have again after the wedding either.

It’s not easy. But your wedding is one day — your marriage is what follows. The people who truly love and support you will show that in many ways, not just on the guest list.

Ceremony or Venue First? (The Wedding Chicken or the Egg)

Let’s talk about the big one — your venue.
It’s usually the single biggest cost in your wedding budget, and it’s also the piece that ties so much together: your date, your guest list, your food, your vibe.

But here’s where many couples get stuck:

Do you book the ceremony first, or the venue?

It’s a bit of a chicken-and-egg situation — they each affect the other.
My advice? Put your venue on hold (many will hold a provisional date for you) while you confirm the ceremony booking. That way, you’re not locked into a venue before knowing if the ceremony time or location will work.

Also, think about what kind of ceremony you want:

• A religious or civil ceremony in a separate location?
• A celebrant-led ceremony outdoors or on-site?
• A licensed venue that can host both ceremony and reception?

Each of these will impact your venue choice, as well as guest transport and accommodation — especially if guests are travelling or staying overnight.

And don’t forget, some venues only work with certain caterers or suppliers. Others let you choose your own team, which can affect both flexibility and overall cost.

Once You Have These Key Pieces in Place… Breathe.

Once your ceremony, venue, accommodation, and guest list are sorted, you’ve got your foundations down. From here on, wedding planning can become a lot more fun — you’ll be making creative choices, not just logistical ones.

Let’s Keep the Conversation Going

If this post helped bring you some clarity or calm, I’d love to hear from you.
You can message me on Instagram or drop me a note through the contact page on my website. I always love hearing where you’re at in your planning journey — and what your ceremony/venue “chicken and egg” moment was!